My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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