Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He better not be in your backpack
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
