they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
