was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
