i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
