covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize