i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
