You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
