Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

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  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1348) Bad night (838)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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  (313): im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come http://tfl.nu/9b59
  Replies (30) Good night (4172) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??

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  (618): Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking?? http://tfl.nu/g7y8
  Replies (42) Good night (4620) Bad night (1493)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets

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  (207): there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets http://tfl.nu/n8se
  Replies (23) Good night (1614) Bad night (8242)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.

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  (812): there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected. http://tfl.nu/s29p
  Replies (8) Good night (1106) Bad night (2875)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack

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  (909): According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack http://tfl.nu/ipzj
  Replies (15) Good night (3656) Bad night (1462)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.

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  (727): My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out. http://tfl.nu/gjqc
  Replies (5) Good night (8369) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.

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  (419): If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does. http://tfl.nu/2dp5
  Replies (4) Good night (3090) Bad night (1423)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  You're welcome.

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  (541): Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes. (1-541): You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/axhz
  Replies (6) Good night (2270) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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  (484): I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance http://tfl.nu/sui0
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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  (610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954
  Replies (2) Good night (1119) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey

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  (774): This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey http://tfl.nu/q901
  Replies (10) Good night (1800) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.

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  (918): I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot. http://tfl.nu/9z19
  Replies (1) Good night (683) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.

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  (646): I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously. http://tfl.nu/f1wv
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka

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  (201): I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka http://tfl.nu/upfv
  Replies (4) Good night (302) Bad night (606)

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