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Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Randomize
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