I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games