Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes