Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima

(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wanted to see November 5, 1985

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(949): View more from California

Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee

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(760): View more from California

new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

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(269): View more from Michigan

You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

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(816): View more from Missouri

If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.

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(509): View more from Washington

He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.

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