So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
