are you still at the devil's house?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop