We won't sleep together?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study