I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.