You made me cry and you don't even care
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
