were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
