Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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