Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
