I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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