we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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