Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
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