what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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