id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
