Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Randomize