I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
