I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
