hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
