mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
