You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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