Porn is love you can see.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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