does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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