Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize