Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize