If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
