she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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