i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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