why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
