I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you made out with another girl for some wings
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
