I think scott just propositioned me for sex
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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