OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
