i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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