can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize