I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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