THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize