He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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