Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
