Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
