she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
