I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
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the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
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