The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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