walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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