i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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