6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
