I accidentally burped into my bong.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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