I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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