Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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