overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
