Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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