My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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