where am i from again
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
