Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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