Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
