That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
