I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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