I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
