I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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